


Hercules: The Mom Friend

by abbeytre3



Series: Why Did I Make These Friends [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Trans Character, actual ones this time, alex owes his friends so much, more fun lawyers, oblivious hercules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbeytre3/pseuds/abbeytre3
Summary: Because he cleans up everybody's messes.When Jamilton need a lawyer, there's only on group to call. Bartow & Burr. And being literal children, they need their mom friend to do it for them.





	Hercules: The Mom Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I'm on a roll with typing, my parents are a little freaked out on how much time I spent on this. But this distracts me from my main RWBY story, so... yay?

“C’mon Herc! They need a lawyer!” John pleaded.

Unfortunately for him, Hercules was completely exasperated by this point, “They are adults. They can find their own lawyer.”

“Yeah but not like adulty-adults. We’re all just seniors! But you’re the mom friend, the only one with their life together! You have to help them, please!”… “I’ll cover materials cost for your next project”

 

 

Hercules knew one law student and one lawyer. That one lawyer was his uncle, and he was the worst, so no. Uncle Louis was a pretty alright guy, just a terrible lawyer.

That law student however, actually he graduated so he might be a full lawyer by now. And he was the actual worst. Frigid personality. It gave Hercules the shivers just to talk about his old RA.

 

 

“Mr. Mulligan. What a, pleasure. What can I do for you today?”

Hercules walked into the small office, noting the Bartow & Burr etching on the door window. While his eyes were wandering, his heart jumped at Burr’s rather firm handshake, that seemed to linger a moment too long.

Rousing himself he reluctantly divulged, “Alex and Jeff—Thomas, they did stupid things and now need a lawyer.”

Hercules caught the mumbled, “Do I even want to know,” before Burr straightened up his already ramrod straight posture and apologetically said to Hercules “I would _love_ to hear this story, but I’m afraid we can’t until my partner arrives. Don’t want to have to repeat the story twice after all.” He paused, “But we can discuss, payment?”

Hercules snorted, “Thomas has no access to the family accounts as of yet and I’m afraid even a joint McDonalds and Starbucks salary wouldn’t be enough for one let alone two lawyers. I know that you’re only one year out, but perhaps we can work something out?”

Burr colored, ducking his head before he stammered, “Well I d-don’t think.” He paused again then looked Hercules dead in the eye and colored further, turning even the tips of his ears darker, “Oh. Oh you meant law school. Well yes. I’m sure my partner can come up with something. They have a soft spot for pro bono work.” Burr looked up as the door clicked open, “Ah speak of the devil”

“And he shall arrive” finished the stranger.

Hercules twisted around to view the door and his breath hitched. Standing there was the most heart breakingly beautiful man he had ever seen in his life. Jet black hair that curled just _so_ around his ears, large brown eyes framed by thick lashes, a trim slim figure, with muscles that flexed underneath the thin summer collared shirt he wore.

Burr quickly crossed the room, kissing the person quickly on the cheek, “Theo,” he greeted warmly.

Theo raised an eyebrow and smacked Burr lightly on the arm, “Not going to introduce us?  _Rude_.” Theo grasped Hercules hand, “Pleasure meeting you. Name’s Theo. That’s my last name, on the door. It’s first ‘cause I’m more important.” And he shot a winning grin at Burr who was just smiling indulgently.

Hercules was falling hard. Three minutes in and he was already planning their wedding vows. His dopy look must have been quite obvious as Theo gave a booming laugh and moved past him, clapping him on the shoulder as he went. Hercules came back to earth when Burr jostled him and raised an eyebrow.

Once they were all seated around the table, Burr motioned Hercules and he began his tale. “So Alex and Thomas decided that it would be fun to be lawyers. Without going to law school.” A rather… abbreviated tale.

Theo frowned, “I’m not exactly following. As long as they did not charge for their services and they gave no actual legal counsel what is the problem? Sounds like great fun for a couple of graduating kids.”

“Yeah well, Alex’s asthma kicked up and they had to leave before anything was said. The couple they were fooling found out about the farce and are now suing. Thus, Alex and Thomas are now hiding in their rooms and everyone’s freaking out.”

Theo looked at Burr and he concluded, “They have no case. Sure, a bit of misleading was done, but there was no harm. Physically, emotionally, or mentally.”

Hercules spread his hands, “I know that, you know that, even the dumb idiots know that. But the last thing we need is the judge to decide in the couple’s favor just because Alex couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”

Burr sighed, “That idiot has too many brains to do what he does. So you need someone to speak for them.”

Theo glanced at him and quirked his mouth, “And?”

“And Alex probably respects me enough to not cause a commotion because he’s too warm or whatever bullshit excuse he makes to run his mouth.”

Hercules snorted, “Yeah you scare the shit out of him. When you were our RA, you always caught him doing dumb shit ‘cause you walk so quietly.”

Theo grinned, “Yeah I swear we should put a bell on him.” He looked around, “Anyways, case closed? We’ll represent the kids. We can go eat? Man I am _starving_!”

Hercules wondered if Theo thought of him as a kid too, he was twenty-one damnit! Theo got up and pulled Burr out of his chair and into a kiss, then prancing off to the door, swinging it open.

Hercules felt his hastily built hopes shatter. Of course. Partners in life and in law.

He rearranged his thoughts to accept this new development, Hercules hadn’t even known that Burr was interested in men, though anyone would be interested in Theo, last he heard Burr was engaged to the lady love of his life. Things change.

Burr and Theo were waiting patiently by the door, Theo with a thin smirk on his lips as he called, “Can’t stay forever darling! Aren’t you coming with?”

Hercules could feel his face rapidly gaining heat, “Oh of course! Right, coming!”

He loped over to the pair and was about to brush past them when Burr stopped him with a hand on his arm, “To lunch we mean. We do not even have to talk about business. But we might catch up over burgers? Theo’s treat.”

Hercules looked over at Theo for confirmation, and if the beaming grin said anything, he was not put out by the offer.

Hercules offered his own right back, “Alright then. I guess I will. Starving college student gotta grab food when I can.”

 

 

Theo had brought them to perhaps the classiest burger joint Hercules had ever been to. Not a booming sports channel was in sight, and the seat backs were real leather, leaving the whole place with a feeling that he was dressed much too casual for this place.

Burr, “Call me Aaron,” barely refrained from rolling his eyes, “Relax. Theo’s brother owns the place. Part of the reason we eat here so much is that he,” Aaron nudged Theo, “is a cheapskate who loves free food.”

“There is nothing wrong with mooching. It’s how the family fortune was built.”

“Is mooching another word for piracy now? Captain Theo?”

“Yes. Yes it is Captain Aaron.”

Hercules watched the couple with amusement. They played off of each other well, which must make for great lawyers as well as partners.

He hadn’t seen Aaron so relaxed since that time Alex spiked his coffee with Xanax.

Aaron turned from making eyes at Theo to stare at Hercules, “So we also asked you here because—”

“Oh look the waiter’s coming! I hope you guys know what you want ‘cause here he comes!” Interrupted Theo, franticly waving his arm for an amused waiter to rush to the table.

“Hi guys, I’m Peggy and I’ll be helping you tonight! What can I get for ya’ll?”

As Aaron and Theo placed their order, Hercules stared. He finally opened his mouth, “Peggy?! Everyone though you died or something. We haven’t heard from you since you started college!”… “Oh and I’ll take the double sky high thanks.”

Peggy just tinkled out a laugh and said, “Be right back!”

Theo looked askance at him, “How do you know Peggy? Aaron’s known the whole family since he was in grade school. Omg my god. Aaron have you known Hercules for years and not told me?!”

Hercules cut in, “Just since freshman year really. Angelica and Alex are kind of like ride or die bros. You, Aaron really? I had no idea.”

Aaron replied, fiddling with his napkin on the table, “Well yes, our families are friends so naturally I saw a lot of them, especially after the …incident.”

It hit Hercules then. Aaron was not only a single child, but an orphan. He grew up with his family before they were brutally taken away from him. Hercules himself possessed a rather large family, three brothers and five sisters, not having them around was unthinkable. It was possible that Aaron was so stoic and quiet because no one had told him otherwise, until Theo it seems. He had no problem teasing the opinions out of someone who liked to play off as having none.

Hercules engaged in small talk, still in thought, through the rest of their meal.

 

 

Alex rolled over. He pulled his knees into his chest and press his cold feet against Thomas’s back.

“What is it Alex?” Is what Alex heard. What came out of Thomas was much less complimentary. Alex started to trace the relaxed lines of Thomas’s back with his eyes as he muttered,

“I think Hercules is hiding something from me.”

With a groan Thomas pushed his hair back and rolled around to face Alex, “He got us a lawyer willing to represent us for nothing, I think he’s allowed a few secrets.”

“Yeah but it’s Burr! He’ll smile at our face and stab us in the back! Who did Hercules barter his soul with the get this deal! It just doesn’t make sense!”

Thomas stroked Alex’s hair out of his face, trying to get him out of his agitated mood, “Look. If you didn’t hate Burr for doing his job, what three years ago, then you just would have been grateful that this happened. Besides, this is all your fault.”

Alex smiled mischievously, “It is isn’t it? Now no one’s questioned why we’ve sequestered ourselves in our room for so long! They just assume we’re too ashamed to show our face.”

“Again? We just woke up.”

Leaning over Thomas for a drawn out kiss Alex whispered, “Again.”

 

 

Thomas fussed with Alex’s hair as they prepared to leave the safety of Alex’s suite and face the blazing sun of the day. He glanced out the window to see what was happening on the street below. Too often he had let Alex go before checking and watched his madman dash through traffic on foot. Crosswalks were not just there to look pretty!

Passing on the street below was a familiar trio. Now that Alex had planted that seed of doubt, Thomas watched suspiciously at the playful banter, if the light nudges were anything to go by. It looked an awful lot like—

“Wow! Theo looks great since he started the T! _Somebody’s_ been working out!”

Thomas looked down at the perfect ponytail that Alex was now ruinging by running his fingers through it, “Really? That’s what you comment on? His muscles? Not th—”

“His arms are awe inspiring. That t-shirt is sinful!”

Out of pure spite, Thomas wrapped his arms around Alex from behind and flexed, knowing that Alex’s eyes were mesmerized. Got him every time.

“oOh wow. I think I’ll just keep these.”

“Yes you will.”

Alex turned his head up, “What were you saying before? About what I comment on?”

Nudging him, Thomas directed their attention to the trio. Theo was leaning on Hercules as Burr was laughing at something he said. A man jogging passed by, running his yes up and down Hercules very obviously, before winking and continuing. Burr stepped even closer to Hercules, and placed a hand on his arm, regaining his attention.

“They seem, a bit, possessive of Hercules, don’t you think?”

Ale turned a few shades paler, “But, but, who would ever willingly do the do with Burr! Theo’s great, but Burr is… Burr.” Alex turned around fully in Thomas’s arms, pressing a quick kiss to his lips he pleaded, “We have to save him!”

Thomas snorted and released Alex, taking his hand and leading them to the door, “Remember last time I said Alex no and you said Alex yes? I think I get the veto now. And it’s definitely an Alex no!”

 

 

The day of the court case came and went, with Cindy and Lucy having their case thrown out due to it being in Aaron’s words, “Abominably stupid.”

But Hercules just kept… seeing them? They would invite him out to lunch and he would say yes, and sometimes there was a terrible film that they all just had to see and Alex kept moaning about him being corrupted while Thomas hid laughter every time he saw them together, and eventually Hercules’ heart couldn’t handle it anymore. Couldn’t handle his face heating up whenever Aaron brushed arms with him. Couldn’t handle his heart racing as Theo seemed to use every excuse for treating Hercules like a full body pillow.

“What is this?” Hercules blurted as they sat at a local sushi shop, Aaron in the middle of loading up their plates.

Theo tilted his head in question, “It’s… sushi.” Then pointed accusingly at him, “Have you never had sushi before?!”

“No I have definitely had sushi before, I mean what is _this_ , us? You two are a thing, I get that, but why do I keep factoring into the mix.”

Aaron had a look of dawning horror as Theo looked ready to have a fit.

Aaron put the plates down, “Oh my. God. We never asked. We completely forgot to ask. You must have been so goddamn confused. Holy shit.”

It was his turn to stare. “I think I just broke Aaron.”

Theo looked Hercules dead in the eye, “We’re dating.”

“I get that.”

“No I mean _we_ , all of us. We’re poly. Right now. That’s a thing that’s happening.” He made pointed at all of them with his chopsticks, “All of us is happening. You’re welcome.”

Hercules brain might have broken right then, but his heart had never been stronger. It was the organ he thought with the most anyways. Who needed a brain?

From the fleeting future Hercules concocted in the office that fateful day, it turned out that Theo tasted better than he imagined.

 

 

“Hey see you around. Text me later so I know you made it in okay.” Aaron said when they reached the entrance to Hercules’s apartment building.

“Man, it is three feet away, you can see with your own eyes.”

Aaron stepped closer to Hercules, running a hand up his arm, “Maybe I just want to speak with you then.” He stepped even closer, leaning his body against him, “Is that okay?” got breathed in his ear.

“JUST kiss him ALREADY!” got screamed from an open window above their heads. They both looked up to see Alex hanging out of the frame, being mostly supported by the death grip Thomas had on the back oh his collar.

Hercules went white, what was it with Alex and daring things to put him in the hospital. It was like he had a fight with life itself.

But as distracted as he was, even he couldn’t miss Aaron grabbing his face and swooping up into a passionate kiss. Hercules felt his knees go weak.

This time he didn’t even react to the “Oh thank god finally” from above.

 


End file.
